Dallas Breeze

He had been here a long time. He did not know how long but it didn’t really matter. This place was eternal. It was a lot like earth at times. At least for some people. It was not filled with fire and brimstone like many believed. It was the emptiness that caused people to suffer. For this place was beyond the reach of Love. Too deep and far from God for His light to shine here. People reacted to it differently. Some had only known this place even when they were alive but now there would be no end and that made it worse. Some reacted with anger and hate. Depression came to him. He remembered in the beginning he was alone. On earth he had killed himself to escape. Now though he would not be able to escape again. He had grown used to his hopeless situation. He was alone and isolated, stranded from his heart.

He would take a walk from time to time. Thinking of his loneliness, he had time for eternal reflection. At time he worried he might go mad, other times he hoped he would. Madness never came though and he began to think that he had never had a heart. That this was his true nature. It made sense to him, on earth he had always been alone.

It came to be that he saw a woman. She struck him as the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He did not think it was Lust but in this place what other emotion could it be. He continued on trying not to think about it. Many here would have done differently. Most thought of this place as liberating, rejoicing in cursing their Lord, knowing He could do no more to them. He knew though that the Lord was not doing anything to them except let them be alone. He knew that that was more than any torture devised could ever be. Lust was common here as was guilt and apprehension. The material impulses on earth were mild compared to their strength here. He had no desire to hurt himself. He knew the woman he saw would be nothing other than an amusement. He would keep to himself, hopelessness had a grasp on him that seemed unbreakable. Time went on as it always did and on occasion he would see her. He did not talk to here though, he didn’t see the point. Despite his best efforts though, she looked more and more beautiful each time he saw her. He thought it was this place driving his material desires. But he did not lust for her, she simply seemed to shine, somehow she had a radiance in this place, perhaps it was hope. She seemed soft. She was not filled with anger and hate, she was like him preoccupied with being alone. She felt abandoned by her Maker.

He walked a different way each time he went. And while he wasn’t trying to avoid her it seemed he would be just as good not seeing her. However it was inevitable that they should continue to see each other Eternity is a long time after all and eventually they met and spoke. They became acquaintances to his surprise, he did not believe it possible. He had for a long time now tried to control his feelings and despite or because of this they became friends. Friends he thought, he would shut it from his mind as if merely thinking about it would twist it, he no longer had much judgement about such things.

Time went on and he began to learn that she too had always been alone, even on earth. While she had been with people she had always felt alone and isolated from them. He felt for her, he knew what she felt. He could not believe, but sometimes he mused himself with the thou ght that he might lover her or that she might love him. It did not make him feel better He had been here long enough to know that it couldn’t be true.

But something drew him to her, perhaps it was her hope, and as time went by his thoughts were filled with her. He began to think that she could redeem him, that her love could bring light to this place. He began to have hope again. His material desires had long since left him and he allowed their friendship to grow on it’s own. Love on earth had always involved lust, he did not want lust.

She had always longed for love and never gave up looking for it, but she continued to look in the wrong places as she had done Before. She allowed her material desires to be present in her search. She had continued to hope that even here there was love and that she would find it. Here though, hope was a dangerous thing. Eventually anger and hat began to fill her heart displacing her feelings of isolation and muting her hope. Over time she had succumbed to the desires of this place, it was where she had looked for love and now she was completely Lost. When he finally came to her to ask for her love she no longer had any to give. He cursed his Maker. Again, he knew where he was.